Toyota is the new Volvo

When you are on the road as much as I am you get plenty of time to observe the behaviour of other drivers. Over the last few months I have developed an opinion of the drivers of certain vehicles - their owners generally fit a stereotype when it comes to the way they behave.

For example: If you see a late model 4wd coming up behind you then you learn to not change lanes because they are going to change lanes without indicating and go flying past you at at least 10 kms above the speed limit.

By far the worst drivers on the road though are the people who drive Toyota Avalons or Camry Altises. These people generally have no f$%king idea what they are doing but will do it anyway without any regard for any of the other drivers on the road. I have seen one Avalon driver manage to hold up traffic for three changes of lights for absolutely no reason. Trying to change lanes but the car next to you wont let you in and beeps and abuses you when you do manage to force your way in - bingo - it was a Camry Altise.

I'm not sure how it works, but for some reason the only people who buy these cars are rude arrogant wankers. Probably explains why they are now the car of choice for the Queensland Police Service

Insider Cheese Tip

Sometimes you get to find out where the good stuff is.

The weekend was a good time to be driving a taxi - Nice and busy everywhere.

Fare of the weekend goes to the guys I picked up from the cricket with multiple drop-offs. They were going all over the shop so it worked out to be about a $60 fare which still left me nice and close to where the work was.

The real win though came from the final drop which was just around the corner from my house. The last guy pointed out the house just near his that sells home made haloumi from their shed. Went and saw them yesterday and the haloumi is cheap and sooooo much better than the shit they sell at the supermarket.

Super glad that old mate pointed these guys out to me

Whatever floats your boat

Been pretty slack with using this blog - turns out it's quite hard to think at 4 in the morning after driving for 12 hours straight.

Last night was a funny night.

A couple of nights ago I left my phone in the Taxi and rather than bringing it back to base the day driver dropped it off at lost property at the Airport. Decided to go straight out to the Airport to pick it up. On the way out I was sent a radio job from Hamilton and decided it was worth a shot taking it as they are usually to the Airport anyway. Turned out it was to Newstead and then after that I got another Job straight away back to Coopers Plains. So after an hour I was back where I started from and still didn't have my phone.

My second last job last night was from the City to Woodridge. The two people in the back had obviously decided that it would be fun to root in the back of cab. It is actually surprising hard to driver with the back of the taxi bouncing up and down. Hard to stay focused too - good thing they didn't notice that I missed their exit and had to loop back around, adding about fifteen bucks to their fair.

First ever car accident

Last Sunday was my first ever (and hopefully last) car accident.

Sitting out the front of the Valley cop shop lights when I was rear ended by TWO different pizza delivery drivers. Wasn't a particularly  bad accident but my back is buggered and the taxi was pretty badly hurt too.
To add insult to injury it happened just as I received a message about multiple (500 +) fares waiting at the domestic terminal so I would probably have had a good night.
At least I had a weeks holiday afterwards to give me time to rest and recoup.

Now I just gotta deal with Allianz when I put in my claim

Normal healthy reverse sleep pattern confirmed

I have received expert medical advice that apparently I may have a normal and healthy but completely reversed sleep pattern.

Picked up a doctor who was an expert in sleep from the airport and managed to have a good chat to him as we drove around looking for a chemist that would sell him the special soap he wanted that wasn't available in New Zealand.

He explained to me that not everybodies circadian rhythms run off sunlight like the majority of the populations and that there is a percentage of the population who have body clocks that operate on a different time schedule. I explained my lifestyle, etc to him and he was of the (expert) opinion that I probably did have a reversed circadian rhythm.

I asked him what the best thing to do about it was and he explained that it is perfectly natural and if you can then the best thing to do is to find a way to adjust your lifestyle so that it fits in with your sleep cycle. There are medications that can "fix" it but these aren't very good for you and should only be used if absolutely vital.

He was an expert in his field so I'm going to cling to his advice for dear life. It certainly explained a lot to me

Avoid the valley at all costs

I have a little game I like to play on Friday and Saturday nights trying to see how long I can last without going into the Valley.

Last night was a total win - I didn't make it in there once. Unless of course you count the Tivoli and people going to see the Cyprus Hill concert, which I didn't. The Tivoli is Bowen Hills anyways.

Get to meet much more interesting people by working out in the suburbs and the d#$khead factor decreases significantly. Last night was quite amazing for a Friday - not one d#$khead all night.

Women deserve respect - s$%ts don't

Sometime driving cabs really makes you worry about the future of our country. By far the most annoying and difficult customers to get in the cab are young white women. Last night took the cake though. Got a couple of jobs of young girls out of the Down Under Bar going back to UQ. These girls were stupid rude little sluts (pardon the language but there is no nice word to describe them).

These girls had been out for a night where they were apparently having a competition on who could be the biggest slut. There were all scoring points to see who could hook up with the most guys in a night.

I would assume that these girls were meant to be relatively smart (they had been accepted into university) and from fairly well off families (their parents could afford for them to stay in one of the on campus colleges) but the way they acted it could easily have been assumed they were crack addicted, homeless prostitutes.

I'm just glad they are too young for me and I don't have to try and pick a wife from this bunch. I feel sorry for the guys that do. Thankfully there are more than enough chauvenistic footy players out there so I'm sure they will be fine.

Some nights it just works

After a couple of crappy nights that had left me feeling drained last night was phenominal.

Started with an early job out of Annerley only heading a short distance. I almost drove off as a no job but luckily decided to stop and have a quick look at the keyboard that I thought somebody was throwing out as hard waste. Keyboard and associated stuff around it looked way to nice for somebody to be throwing out and sure enough it belonged to a young musician who was moving house and had gone back upstairs to get another load.

It just kept rolling from that job. Wound up getting some really nice fares all night.

Even the regretta was nice to me. Black and White cabs are sponsoring White Baloon Day so our cabs have all had these stupid little flags on their windows. One of the passengers wound down the back window causing the flag to fall off onto Coronation Drive. The passenger was extremely nice and apologetic about dropping the flag. I explained to him that it didn't matter and that it wasn't his fault, it was the way the flags were designed. At the end of the trip he still insisted on tipping me almost $30 because he felt bad about losing my flag.

Ended the night on a high note too. Picked up a cover job from the Southbank Tafe. I was sure the fare would be gone by the time I got there, there had to have been heaps of cabs drive past on their way to West End before I got there, but luckily they were still waiting. It was a very pleasant surprise to get a young (18) year old girl who was extremely intelligent and articulate (even if a little [lot] drunk). It was such a pleasant change from the usual for teenage girls and reassured my hopes that the next generation will turn out fine just like the rest of us have (kind of anyway)

Mother of a night

I picked up a lady from the International Airport last night heading into the city. Just before picking her up I had gotten myself a can of Mother before she had got into the cab and it was still in the drink holder when we started off. This caused a barrage of questions about why I was drinking mother, what I thought of it, did I know about the knew mother, etc, etc. I was a little bit bemused as to why this lady was so fascinated by this can of mother but she was nice and I tried to answer her questions with a good nature. Turned out she worked for coke and was the person who had designed the logos. She only told me this when we got to the end of the trip though so I didn't have enough time to work her for a free sample. I'm just glad I was drinking Mother and not one of the competitors brands.

The other fare of note last night was a young guy from out the front of the Normandy. I had picked up him and one of his mates from in the Valley on one of my first shifts as a cabbie and the guy remembered me. It took a little bit of prompting from him but eventually I remembered who he was. Him and his friend had been really nice on the first trip and offered some good tips on navigating around the northside. I offered him a small discount on his fare when I got him home but he did the opposite and gave me a nice little tip. I was worried about picking up from the Normandy because you usually get dickheads so it was fantastic to get a nice person. Hopefully I get to drive this guy home again.

Welcome to my blog

Good morning passengers,

After talking  about it for a couple of weeks I've finally started my blog up. Inspired by regularly being asked "you must have some stories as a cabbie", I've decided to start this blog so that when I can't be bothered talking to you I can just redirect you to my website.

I can't claim credit for coming up with the idea myself, it's been done before in Sydney. Adrian Neylan is Sydney has apparently been doing this for ages - his blog is at http://www.cablog.com.au/.

Anyway - I hope you enjoy. I'll try to be witty and insightful but it will probably just end up as pointless ramblings  as I try to get to sleep after another night of too much coffee. If all else fails I can always just put up a funny picture of a cat.